Tuesday, April 19, 2005
The Army fell almost one-third short of its recruiting goal in March, the second consecutive month of shortfall, reflecting not only discouragement with the Iraq war but also sparse pay and benefits.
No business can attract good employees by offering paltry wages and benefits in exchange for dangerous working conditions. Nor is it wise to ignore the background of those employees it does hire.
Several weeks ago, our president presented the first Medal of Honor since Somalia – posthumously – to the widow and orphans of Sgt. Paul R. Smith for heroic actions he took “above and beyond the call of duty” to save the men he was leading in Iraq.Sgt. Kenny enlisted in 1995, Sgt. Akbar in 1998 - well before the demoralizing effects of the Iraq war and the shrinking recruitment numbers. Timothy McVeigh, convicted Oklahoma City bomber, was discharged in the fall of 1991 with the rank of sergeant.
But as this is being written, another sergeant, Hasan Akbar, faces court-martial, charged with the murder of fellow members of an American brigade on the eve of the Iraq invasion. His lawyers say he’s nuts, the same thing a shrink said when Akbar was 14. The rub is how this guy – whose Army evaluation reports also say he’s nuts – got in the Army in the first place and then went on to make sergeant in a peculiarly short period of time.
Then there’s convicted felon Sgt. Shawn Kenny – profiled late last year in a brilliant cover piece by investigative journalist Leslie Blade for the Cincinnati newpaper CityBeat (“Cincinnati’s Links to the Oklahoma City Bombing”) – who will be up for promotion to master sergeant next month.
(link)
Obviously, the Army has been less than selective, and the warning bells should be ringing loud and clear.
If the Army can't attract and retain better quality "employees" and finds it necessary to promote convicted felons and the mentally disturbed to leadership positions, isn't it high time the wages and benefits were substantially increased?
If it means a radical downsizing of the military, so be it. No country that claims moral leadership in the world can afford a military staffed by the criminal or unstable.
Certainly, the vast majority of military personnel are fine, decent individuals and should not be held accountable for the past behavior of the few bad apples. The exemplary service and sacrifices of the majority deserves more than empty words of praise and support.
You do get what you pay for.
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Minuteman founder leaving Mexico border area
'We're bored to death'
The chief organizer of the Minuteman Project, which attracted hundreds of volunteers to watch for illegal immigrants and smugglers along the Mexican border, said Monday he's leaving his post early.Doesn't sound strange to me.
Jim Gilchrist said the watch project has been a success and will continue through the end of the month as planned, but under a different name.
"The operation is continuing, but it's not under the Minuteman Project," Gilchrist said. "There's nothing for us to do here. We're bored to death. But people are staying here."
Gilchrist said he'll leave Arizona probably on Wednesday. He plans to appear before the Congressional Immigration Reform Caucus next week in Washington, along with watch co-organizer Chris Simcox, then return only briefly to Arizona.
Volunteers now in Arizona or coming through April 30 will fall under the auspices of Civil Homeland Defense, another illegal immigrant monitoring group that Simcox has operated in Arizona for years, Gilchrist said.
(snip)
Border Patrol spokesman Andy Adame expressed surprise at Monday's announcement. "Gilchrist said it (the project) was going to run for a month. He takes off halfway through and declares victory? Sounds kind of strange," Adame said.
In fact, it sounds like a pretty good Iraq exit plan.
Without foreign troops irritating the locals and foreign business people scavenging for business, there just might be fewer "Yankee go home" bombings, kidnappings, and killings.
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Monday, April 18, 2005
I watched a bit of the movie Independence Day on television this weekend, somewhat spoiled by the stupid language editing.
Anyone who has seen the original, unedited version can't help but notice that all words pertaining to bodily orifices and functions are changed in the suitable-for-family-viewing version; "shit" becomes "shoot", "assholes" becomes "animals".
Yet the word "bitch" - derogatory to women - was left quite prominently and frequently intact.
"Bitch", while perfectly acceptable when describing a female dog, apparently isn't worthy of exclusion from the questionable vocabulary list.
Independence Day isn't the only example; I can't dig up titles from my memory on this groggy Monday morning, but it's something I've noticed elsewhere - both in movies and television shows broadcast during "family viewing hours".
Odd, that. Or is it?
The social conservative agenda of regulating marriage, birth control, abortion, and sex education, though it affects all, boils down to a concerted attack on womens rights and a disrespect for women in general.
The Washington Post (Now on DVD: The Sanitizer's Cut) gives us a bit of insight into the world of the sanitizers; the legal machinations behind the scenes, and the so-called moral motivations that move editors to make hit movies "suitable" for viewing by all ages.
It's a marriage of conservative politics and the almighty dollar; creative vision doesn't stand a chance.
I don't recall anyone ever holding a gun to my head and making me watch a movie with objectionable content or questionable value. In fact, the closest anyone has ever come was back in 1995 when my then-10-yr-old kid nagged me into seeing Disney's Pocahontas.
Nor do I recall any tree-hugging liberal edict declaring I must force my kid to watch movies with "unsuitable" aspects.
Unsuitable, indeed. I can't wait for the day Mr. & Mrs. Red-State-of-Mind are enjoying a big bowl of popcorn and DVD movie viewing with their brood of kiddies, and the five-year-old looks at Mamma and says "Pass the popcorn, bitch".
As Independence Day's Russell Casse (Randy Quaid) tells the invaders who would destroy life as we know it - "Payback's a bitch, ain't it?"
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Saturday, April 16, 2005
I'm hoping someone more internet-savvy than I (that's not hard) can help with this.
I recently swore off Internet Explorer, and use the Firefox browser. But every time I try to go to Eschaton with Firefox, it flips me over to the text ads. Going "back" works for about a second, and then the page flips to the text ads again.
I have the correct URL bookmarked. Any clues?
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Wall Street suffered its worst single day in nearly two years Friday, with the Dow Jones industrial average falling 191 points for its third straight triple-digit loss. Deepening concerns over economic growth and higher prices led to the worst week of trading since August.Of course, nothing like this could possibly happen after the GOP has their way with Social Security.
An already uneasy market began the biggest one-day selloff since May 19, 2003, after the Federal Reserve reported drops in manufacturing and other industrial production, and a Labor Department report showed higher oil costs driving up import prices.
Retirement funds concentrated in the stock market? No sweat.
It will be up-up-and-away, every day!
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Friday, April 15, 2005
Since I thought yesterday was Friday...

Cujo's preferred method of transportation.

I'm going to big a big, brave girl and admit it.
It took me more than one try to get my driver's license.
But at least it only took ONE failure and a matter of 24 hours as opposed to 271 attempts and more than five years -
The motto for one would-be South Korean driver likely is "if at first you don't succeed, then try, try again another 271 times."I guess you've got to admire his stick-to-it-ness, but I don't think I want to share the road with him.
Seo Sang-moon passed the academic part of his driver's license examination on his 272nd attempt earlier this week.
The repairman, from a small town in the southeastern part of the county who will soon turn 70, said he was illiterate and used the test process to teach himself the rules of the road because he could not read them in a manual.
Since the oral exam was launched, Seo took the test as often as he could, paying about $1,000 in fees along the way. Each failure taught him a little more, and after 271 attempts, he was able to get the minimum score needed to pass the academic test.
Test officials were thrilled to see Seo pass.
"He has been coming here for more than five years and we regard him almost as being one of the family," an official from the exam office said by telephone.
Seo said he was preparing for his road test, and was discussing with his wife what kind of car to buy once he get his license. "Driving seems a bit hard. But after trying 271 times to pass the oral exam, what do I have to be afraid of?," Seo said.
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CNN wins once again -
Do you think bankruptcy laws are abused?This is very similar to the old Catch-22 question - "Do you still beat your wife?"
Of COURSE there are people who abuse bankruptcy laws. Wherever there are laws, rules, regulations, ordinances, principles, legislation - call them whatever you want - someone somewhere will abuse them.
Every program that was the slightest benefit to society whatsoever has been abused since the beginning of time. That doesn't mean one should throw out the baby with the bathwater, as the House has tried to do with the stupid new bankruptcy "reforms".
Actually, it's more like they drank the bathwater, thought it was champagne, raised the price, and made it available only to the wealthiest tipplers in society.
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What do you know, today is Friday. I'm losing my mind.
I therefore present Friday Fuzzy Cat Blogging, which was posted on Thursday but meant for Friday and I'll stop before I confuse myself any further.

Trouble and Randy blessing a dining room chair with about a pound of hair.

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Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Michael of Musing's Musings is having big, bad back problems. Go be nice to him.
I took a swan dive down a flight of steps years ago and broke my coccyx bone (the tailbone, for all ye blissfully ignorant). It's amazing how many parts of the human body are affected by even the slightest glitch in the spinal column.
Those mammals who have short spinal columns and walk on all fours will obviously rule the planet one of these days.
No doubt they'd do a better job than some who try to rule the roost in these times.
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Lawmakers defeat cut to their own health care
JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. - State House members, who just last week voted to cut government health care for the poor, narrowly rejected a budget amendment Wednesday aimed at cutting their own health care program.And the money quote?
(snip)
(Gov. Matt) Blunt's proposals would eliminate coverage for more than 100,000 of Missouri's 1 million Medicaid recipients, reduce benefits to numerous others and require many Medicaid enrollees to pay more from their own pockets.
(snip)
...Rep. Trent Skaggs, D-Kansas City, offered an amendment that would have cut $281,602 from the $317 million health care plan for state employees. Skaggs said his intent was to cut 20 percent from the state's contribution to the health plans of legislators and statewide elected officials, such as Blunt. The result would have been a roughly $115 monthly out-of-pocket increase for an individual elected official, he said.
Among those opposing the amendment was Rep. Jim Lembke, R-St. Louis, who said there was no comparison between Medicaid recipients "getting health care for free" and lawmakers receiving coverage as part of their job.Argggggh.....I hate these people.
"To me it's the principle of the thing - representatives are down here for five months away from their families," Lembke said. "It's a just thing for us to be justly compensated."
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Thanks to this tidbit from Wanda
Two 16-year-old girls living in New York have been detained since last month on immigration violations amid concerns they were potential recruits for a suicide bomb plot that never materialized, officials said Thursday.Well, my prophetic powers are pretty good - after all, I correctly predicted Al Gore would win the 2000 presidential election. The voices in my head tell me these officials should be rounded up and detained before they start shouting "Heil, Hitler!" and singing Deutschland uber alles.
The girls — one from Bangladesh, one from Guinea — were picked up by authorities on March 24 and put in a detention center, the officials said.
(snip)
Investigators were concerned that girls might be recruited sometime in the future for a suicide mission by a suspect in an ongoing terrorism investigation, one of the officials said. They decided to detain the pair before they could become involved, the official added.
(Aside: I am aware there should be an umlaut over the "u" in "uber". Too busy and too ignorant to do it at the moment - like the investigators that can't be bothered to put two sixteen-year-old girls under surveillance until they - you know, do something illegal)
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Tuesday, April 12, 2005
The House will vote tomorrow on full repeal of the estate tax, otherwise known as the “Relief of Endangered Heiresses Act”.
According to anonymous sources, the Republican House leadership is concerned about the effect the oppressive estate tax will have on flyweight socialite-heiresses, such as Paris Hilton, Jenna Bush, and Not-Jenna Bush.
"Many sectors of the economy would suffer if these ladies actually had to work for a living", they said.
"The papparazzi, the fashion industry, the tabloids, the entire television industry, manicurists and hair stylists - a real cross-section of American society depends on their largesse."
Previously, Republicans had cited concerns for small businesses and small family farms as the driving force behind the "death tax" repeal.
However, according the the IRS most small businesses and small family farms have either already dissolved, declared bankrupcy, or are headed down the road to financial ruin.
Citing his record of compassionate conservatism, President Bush expressed relief that the House is acting expeditiously.
"Like any parent, I'm always concerned for my daughters and their future", he said. "It's a big load off my mind to know they won't have to work for a living and will continue to provide employment for all the little people".
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Monday, April 11, 2005
Via The Raw Story -
"Republicans in Congress and the White House say they have nearly finished the first stage of their push to overhaul the Social Security system and will soon begin crafting a bill that could pass both chambers by the end of July," the paid-restricted Roll Call reports Monday.So...the judiciary and all those "activist judges" are accountable to the people, but the administration and legislature aren't?
“It’s all going to be moving very fast,” one Senate Republican leadership aide told Roll Call.
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(or - 'There's no reason for panic, but run for your lives')
I know I've posted something on this before, but the Indonesian seismic zone is beginning to make me very uneasy.
There was another earthquake yesterday near Sumatra, and it seemed to me like there's been more than a few recently.
I didn't realize how many until I started checking it out. The media doesn't pay much attention until the loss of life reaches the one-thousand mark.
The mother of all global catastrophes lurks under the earth in Sumatra.
Hidden deep beneath the Earth's surface lie one of the most destructive and yet least-understood natural phenomena in the world - supervolcanoes. Only a handful exist in the world but when one erupts it will be unlike any volcano we have ever witnessed. The explosion will be heard around the world. The sky will darken, black rain will fall, and the Earth will be plunged into the equivalent of a nuclear winter.For brevity's sake, we'll confine the "strong" to "great" earthquake list to just the last four months. The pressure appears to be building -
(snip)
The last supervolcano to erupt was Toba 74,000 years ago in Sumatra. Ten thousand times bigger than Mt St Helens, it created a global catastrophe dramatically affecting life on Earth. Scientists know that another one is due - they just don't know when... or where.
April 11, 2005 - magnitude 6.1; Tokyo
April 10, 2005 magnitude 6.8; Indonesia's Kepulauan Mentawai region.
March 28, 2005 - magnitude 8.7; northern Sumatra, Indonesia
March 20, 2005 - e magnitude 6.6; Kyushu, Japan
March 2, 2005 - magnatude 7.1; Banda Sea
February 26, 2005 - magnitude 6.8; Simeuleu, Indonesia
February 19, 2005 - magnitude 6.5; Sulawesi, Indonesia
February 8, 2005 - magniture 6.8, Vanuatu
February 5, 2005 - magnitude 7.1; Celebes Sea
January 16, 2005 - magnitude 6.6; State of Yap, Fed. States of Micronesia
January 1, 2005 - magnitude 6.6; off the west coast of northern Sumatra
December 26, 2004 - 9.0 magnitude; off the coast of Sumatra
A supervolcano explosion would be way, way beyond the scope of FEMA, the Department of Homeland Security, or Rummy's Department of Offense. You can't deter it, you can't hunt it down, you can't punish it. There are no vast armies or high tech weapons to match it.
On the other hand, it's a handy solution to the problems of Social Security, Medicare and health care all rolled into one package.
Sitting on the other side of the world from Sumatra, we might escape the worst.
The "worst" being total extinction of human, animal, and vegetable life.
But before you get too comfortable in this hemisphere, it might interest you to know there were ninety-seven small tremors recorded in the month of March 2005 in Yellowstone National Park - the site of another supervolcano.
As they say in the disaster unpreparedness business - "Have a nice day!"
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Dubya wants John Bolton, enemy of the U.N., to be the U.S. ambassador to that body.
According to CNN's definition of the word "diplomat", I guess he's the perfect man for the job.
John Bolton, a blunt, outspoken diplomat whose nomination as U.S. ambassador to the U.N. is being opposed by Democrats, pledged today to "work with all" to build a stronger, more effective world body.I guess Mirriam-Webster missed the memo -
(Emphasis mine)
dip·lo·mat, n.
one employed or skilled in diplomacy
di·plo·ma·cy; n.
1 : the art and practice of conducting negotiations between nations
2 : skill in handling affairs without arousing hostility : TACT
tact; n
1 : sensitive mental or aesthetic perception
2 : a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense
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Sunday, April 10, 2005

Looks like a windy day in Scotland; a treacherous business for kilt wearing.
So, you know I can't resist reprising this photo -

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I read chiefly for pleasure and diversion these days, so this is a pretty lightweight list.
Bryan at Why Now? has entered the chain-meme fray and passed along the book meme to me.
You are stuck inside Fahrenheit 451. Which book would you be?
[Note: In the novel to save the content of books people memorized one in order to pass the content on to others.]
The Lord of the Rings, J.R.R. Tolkien.
Not only is it a whacking-good story, but the messages regarding war, greed, love of nature, and compassion are well worth passing on to future generations.
Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Peter Darwin, the main character in Dick Francis’ Comeback; he’s a dead ringer for a real guy I chased back in my chasing days. A close second would be Rabbi David Small, hero of the Harry Kemelman mysteries.
What is the last book you bought?
I admit it - The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown.
What are you currently reading?
My Life, Bill Clinton
re-reading, depending on my mood -
The Age of Arthur, John Morris
A Matter of Honor, Jeffrey Archer
The Voice, Miriam Jaskierowicz Arman
If it's a cruise, you'll find me at the blackjack table and totally book-less. If I'm to be stranded on the desert island:
1. The Lord of the Rings (I may need to refresh my memory; see first question)
2.The collected works of Agatha Christie Sorry, I can’t pick just one, though Bertram’s Hotel is up there at the top. Great fun, and I can’t think of another writer who sets a mood or draws a character with such efficiency.
3. . Conversations with Rabbi Small, Harry Kemelman. Beautiful, sensible discussion of life and ethics.
4. Sunne in Splendor, Sharon Kay Penman. Sprawling retelling of the saga of King Edward IV and his brother, King Richard III of England. If this isn't the way it happened, it should be.
5. When Bad Things Happen To Good People, Harold S. Kushner. If I'm stranded on a desert island, I'll need all the help I can get.
Houston (Dancing With Myself), Tom Burka (Opinions You Should Have, and Michael (Musing's Musings) even though he's already posted his choices. God broke the mold when he made these three characters, and I'd love to know more about what makes them tick.
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Friday, April 08, 2005
The nationwide Bible Reading Marathons, scheduled for next month on dates leading up to the May 5 National Day of Prayer, will take place in cities across the U.S. at such venues as county courthouses, town squares, at State Capitol buildings.Can I sign up to read the Song of Solomon?
Or better yet, give me Matthew 6:6 -
But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.There seems to be an abundance of public, government places listed for this performance.
No mention of closets whatsoever.
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I've heard and seen a lot of strange things at funerals, but this was a new one on me. It would have almost been worth getting up early to see it.
But when Mr Bush’s face appeared on giant screens showing the ceremony – many in the crowds outside St Peter’s Square booed and whistled.
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It's a bloomin' miracle.
Blogger has resurrected itself.
What should I do first?
Oh, yeah - Friday Critter Blogging and the soon-maybe-to-be North Carolina state lottery.
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Yesterday, the North Carolina House of Representatives voted narrowly (61-59) in favor of a state lottery.
The lottery question has been around a long time; North Carolina is surrounded by states that have lotteries, and it’s estimated that $300 million North Carolina dollars flow yearly into those coffers.
Democratic Governor Mike Easley has made a state lottery a centerpiece of both his 1998 and 2004 election, and the Senate has been behind him. The House, however, has stalwartly refused to consider legislation or referendum
I had a bad feeling we were going to be saddled with calls for a referendum on the subject coupled with a referendum on gay marriage or abortion or some other rightwing assery.
But G’bless House Speaker Jim Black (D-Mecklenburg). He’s had a conversion of sorts, thanks to his questionable handling of discretionary funds and even more thanks to the Republicans threatening to look into the matter.
According to the Charlotte Observer (free subscription required)-
An alliance of church groups and state political leaders -- Billy Graham and Bill Friday and a host of others -- have opposed a lottery, but when Gov. Mike Easley began campaigning for it, the atmosphere slowly changed. The state Senate endorsed a lottery in 1989, '91 and '93, but the House remained resistant.Did Speaker Black finesse a rightwing ploy? We may never know, but I like to think so.
That's where Jim Black made all the difference. Black for years had his doubts about a lottery, though he was willing to let the public vote in a referendum. This year he changed his mind. He knew that a lottery discussion could drag on all year. He knew that if the state needed new revenue, it would be better to find out now rather than wait.
Something else happened. In March, Black found himself the object of unflattering publicity in news stories about discretionary grant funds he and other leaders controlled. One day after a group of Republicans demanded the speaker resign, Black appointed a committee loaded with lottery supporters and ordered it to move fast. Last week the committee began; Wednesday morning it finished, voting almost unanimously in favor of a lottery to provide money to build schools, fund scholarships and pay for other education programs. The House approved it 61-59.
It was a brilliant stroke. Black's newfound advocacy of a lottery diverted attention from the discretionary funds and focused it on raising new revenue for education, traditionally the most popular government program.
Another reason the lottery bill passed the House was its careful construction. Just as the 1978 liquor bill in 1978 had its safeguards, the lottery bill directs that the state cannot mount aggressive marketing campaigns to promote the lottery. Advertising can be used only where tickets are sold.
I happen to be rather neutral on the subject of a state lottery, because 1) I’m usually broke, 2) I like to eat, and 3) I never win anything anyway.
Beyond that, I don’t appreciate the fundamentalists trying to tell me what I can or can’t do with my spare change. Nor do I appreciate their inherent unwillingness to pay taxes to support schools or provide scholarships for needy students.
I also suspect - nay, I know - that more than a few of our moral arbiters have been slipping over the state lines to purchase lottery tickets in other states….they just don’t want it in their back yard.
Brian asks the question at his place – “why not a lottery?” If you have a serious answer, drop by and join the discussion.
If not, come on down to North Carolina around the end of the year for your very own ticket. We need to recoup some of those dollars we’ve been dishing to other states.
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Trouble (left) and Randy (right), back when they could both relax in the same side of a suitcase.
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Tuesday, April 05, 2005
There's too much about the pope on television.
I have had just about enough of the pope. It seems every move is shoved down our throats. This may matter to the Catholics, but let's remember, he is just a man. I dare say Billy Graham has done more for people than the pope. Please, a little less of the pope every time the news is on television.
XXX XXXXXX
Trinity
Editor's note: This letter was received last week before John Paul II died.
It's true he's a man, but hardly gentle; he's one of the fiercest neo-con, rightwing fundamentalists you'd ever fear to meet and has never let a fact sway his opinions.
The editor's note gives me hope that he and his like-minded types have spontaneously combusted.
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At a time of budget deficit pressures, Congress is weighing how much to invest in a fledgling but expensive ballistic missile defense system that has suffered setbacks and whose ultimate cost right now is a big question mark.
The system is the most costly defense research and development program under way. President Bush wants lawmakers to approve $9 billion for the system in the 2006 budget year -- $1 billion less than the administration previously planned.
Wise stewards of our tax dollars would have questioned the cost-effectiveness of this boondoggle billions of dollars and numerous test failures ago.
If the Republicans are dead-set on a faith-based missile defense system, they would do much better to consider Pat Robertson's hurricane defense system.
Implementing the system is free, and the success rate is somewhat better, though the failures can be annoying.
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Monday, April 04, 2005
Armed, untrained, incompetent meddlers -
Border Patrol: Citizen Patrols Trip Sensors
Volunteers who have converged on the Mexican border to watch for illegal immigrants are disrupting U.S. Border Patrol operations by unwittingly tripping sensors that alert agents to possible intruders, an agency spokesman complained Monday.
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After giving the matter considerable thought, the editorial board of Collective Sigh is proud to make a recommendation for the next pope.
To recap, the pope should be a woman with the following qualifications:
1) She must have been sexually molested as a child or raped as an adult.
2) She must have suffered at least three years in a bad marriage.
3) She must have faced a life-threatening pregnancy at some time in her life.
4) She must have a child or close relative who is gay.
5) She must have nursing experience caring for those with Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, advanced diabetes, or some other debilitating illness.
We're not sure about #1, but ample experience with #2 makes up for it.

It also helps to look good in the regalia of high office -

Have we picked a winner, or what?
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The University of North Caroilna upholds the honor of the Atlantic Coast Conference!
I want to have Sean May's baby.
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Sunday, April 03, 2005
It's Opening Day!


Crappy photo by Mr. Andante, who obviously cared more about getting a picture of the old Fulton County Stadium in Atlanta than a photo of his lovely wife.
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Saturday, April 02, 2005
But minor details like that have never stopped me from offering my opinion in the past.
My first choice would be a woman. Further requirements:
1) She must have been sexually molested as a child or raped as an adult.
2) She must have suffered at least three years in a bad marriage.
3) She must have faced a life-threatening pregnancy at some time in her life.
4) She must have a child or close relative who is gay.
5) She must have nursing experience caring for those with Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, advanced diabetes, or some other debilitating illness.
And there's one other requirement....she has to enjoy music in all it's forms.
That's actually a tribute to Pope John Paul II, who is expected to leave this life at any moment.
Remember the movie Sister Act? Do you remember the ending, when Whoopi and the chorus of nuns sang a joyous rendition of "I Will Follow Him"?
As the song ended and the camera pulled away, you saw an actor portraying the Pope, sitting in the balcony and applauding.
The actor was obviously meant to be John Paul II, and it was perfectly believable that he would appreciate the performance.
I won't get my first choice for Pope, but a man whom one could believe would enjoy Whoopi's "I Will Follow Him" would be a good start.
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Friday, April 01, 2005
Commentator and former presidential candidate Pat Buchanan cut short an appearance after an opponent of his conservative views doused him with salad dressing.
"Stop the bigotry!" the demonstrator shouted as he hurled the liquid Thursday night during the program at Western Michigan University. The incident came just two days after another noted conservative, William Kristol, was struck by a pie during an appearance at a college in Indiana.
A better idea might be to stick a sombrero on his head, wrap him in a serape, and plunk him down just this side of the Mexican border.
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Thanks to Bryan, I was able to create a South Park Andante at the South Park Studio.

The fancy hat is a nod to my paternal Norse ancestors. Curvy corset is because... I wish. "Battleax" is Mr. Andante's loving (I think) nickname for me. Shades are because (as we all know) when you're cool, the sun shines all the time.
After reading The Da Vinci Code, I decided to refresh my memory on the Merovingian kings. (I know, I know - my mind works in strange ways.)
Googling "Merovingian", I came up with this:
My Merovingian name is Clotilda the Feeble-minded.
Merovingian Name Generator
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.
My South Park clone and Merovingian name go together nicely, don't you think?
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Thursday, March 31, 2005
I got tired of waiting for The Da Vinci Code to come out in paperback or for my name to come up on the library reserve list.
So when Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone, Archbishop of Genoa, came out swinging against the book I couldn't resist any longer and found it on sale at K Mart.
I like a good diversionary suspense novel and finished it in a matter of hours, but I wasn't terribly impressed.
Heck, most of that stuff has been around for centuries, and shouldn't surprise anyone who approaches Christianity with an open mind and an eye toward early church history.
But now I hear the Pope has been given last rites.
One of these days, I guess I'd better learn how to control these powers.
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Part of my morning routine is booting up the old computer and quickly reading the morning headlines, and I do it again more times during the day than is probably mentally healthy.
Any time now, I expect to read that Terri Schiavo has died, and I dread hearing the howls when it happens.
I confidently expect to hear screams of "Murder!" and assorted curses thrown at anyone who doesn't identify with the Taliban wing of Christianity.
Let them howl. My gut says the tempest-to-come will only serve to emphasize the incestuous relationship between the GOP and the extremeists.
How many times have you had a serious political discussion with otherwise reasonable conservatives on banning stem cell research, birth control, and abortion - and they tell you "oh, I don't go along with THAT"?
When it finally hits them that they're party requires them to go along with "THAT", there's going to be a good many people staying home from the polls in 2006.
Update Well, what do you know. Peace, dear. To any upset wingers, let me just add that no - I am not happy now. I'm sorry for the whole, tragic mess that only got messier with outside interference.
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Wednesday, March 30, 2005
If you're up to doing some serious thinking about end-of-life care and "extraordinary measures" - as in, a feeding tube - check out what Michael has to say on the subject.
Good stuff.
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Tuesday, March 29, 2005
I’ve never wished death or serious illness on anyone, but with Jerry Falwell, it’s sure tempting. I’ve never forgiven him for the so-called “Moral Majority”, and I’m not likely to do so in this lifetime.
Jerry Falwell in critical condition
The Rev. Jerry Falwell was hospitalized in critical condition Tuesday, battling his second case of viral pneumonia in just five weeks, hospital and church officials said.
Falwell, 71, was admitted to Lynchburg General Hospital shortly before midnight Monday suffering from "respiratory arrest," the hospital said in a statement.
He was put on a ventilator and stabilized but remained in critical condition, the hospital said.
I wish him a full recovery, with the exception of an annoying itch in a bad place that will respond to anti-fungal ointment and regular changes of clean underwear.
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You’ve joined the long and growing list of Bush appointees and policies objectionable to experts worldwide!
Ex-U.S. envoys oppose U.N. choice
Challenging the White House, 59 former American diplomats are urging the Senate to reject John R. Bolton's nomination to be U.S. ambassador to the United Nations.
"He is the wrong man for this position," they said in a letter to Sen. Richard Lugar, chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, which must consider the nomination before it goes to the full Senate for confirmation. Lugar has scheduled hearings for April 7.
"We urge you to reject that nomination," the former diplomats said in a letter obtained by The Associated Press and dated Tuesday.
(snip)
The former diplomats also chided Bolton for his "insistence that the U.N. is valuable only when it directly serves the United States."
I'd like to think the considered opinion of fifty-nine former diplomats would do some good; however, I'm afraid the Bush administration will only see your letter as another notch in their six-shooter.
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Monday, March 28, 2005
I just heard Bob Schindler on CNN implying that Hospice might do something to hasten his daughter’s death.
What kind of sick bastard would even think such a thing?
Anyone with any experience whatsoever with Hospice knows they are saints. How dare he?
Is this the next focus of the Religious Wrong’s venom?
I just sent a donation to the Woodside Hospice House, where Terri Schiavo is undergoing a death without dignity, thanks to her father. Here’s the link to Woodside’s webpage.
I've disagreed with the Schindler's opinion, but always had a great deal of sympathy for them.
That sympathy is rapidly evaporating.
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Sunday, March 27, 2005
The question comes from the Pesach Haggadah, and is asked by the youngest person at the Seder table by Jews worldwide on April 23, 2005.
I ask the question myself every Saturday evening before Easter - in this case, Saturday, March 26, 2005.
Why is this night different from all other nights? Because I have to get up on Easter morn at oh-dark-thirty to stumble to church, try to remember how to play the piano, and yawn through an Easter morning sunrise service.
For a night owl like me, this is hazardous to the health, as it takes my body and brain two days to recuperate from getting up at 4:00 a.m.
Our wonderful minister - brilliant, witty, and caring the other 364 days of the year - thinks an Easter sunrise service is the greatest thing since sliced bread. A natural early riser, he gets a large charge out of seeing me stagger into the church with one eye closed and the other half-open.
I learned years ago that laying out your clothes the night before is an absolute must. The lesson was learned after discovering I was wearing a brown shoe on my left foot and a black one on the right.
After a hymn, prayer, and brief mini-sermon, we conclude the service by traipsing out into our large cemetary to greet the sun (weather permitting), and sing "Christ Arose" - a hymn with an unfortunately wide range.
As we approach the refrain and the higher notes, my vocal chords and lungs shout back at me - "Go away and don't wake us up for three hours!"
The Bible tells us that Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome brought perfumed oils with which they intended to anoint the body of Jesus. Very early, just after sunrise, on the first day of the week they came to the tomb.
I have a problem with this, as I doubt any of these women would set foot out of their homes before the sun made it's earliest appearance, and object strenuously to setting foot outside my own home in pitch darkness.
As a consolation prize, the men's group at our meeting arrives a half hour before the service, and has a huge breakfast buffet ready for the early morning worshippers after the service.
Despite the tempting smell of coffee, bacon, and eggs, it's too early for my stomach to appreciate the feast, and far too early for me to be a scintillating breakfast conversationalist.
I go back home to my own pot of coffee and bowl of Fruit Loops. I know I wouldn't be any joy at a group breakfast, as I have already started fretting about Easter 2007.
To us night-owls, it's never too early to begin worrying about an Easter Sunrise Service that occurs on the same day we switch to Daylight Savings Time.
(Passover date corrected, thanks to Elayne and Melinama).
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Friday, March 25, 2005
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Bandit & Nicky, fiercely guarding their mama's priceless collection of "Dummies" books
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Terri Schiavo isn't the only one being denied a death with dignity.
She isn't the only patient in the Pinellas hospice facility.

That's the Wrong Reverend Patrick Mahoney of the Christian Defense Coalition, exhorting supporters to make life - and death - as miserable, noisy, political, and public as possible.
If I were a hospice patient or had a loved one in the facility, I'd cram that bullhorn right down someone's throat, regardless of which side of the issue they were on.
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Thursday, March 24, 2005
IMAX theaters in several Southern cities have decided not to show a film on volcanoes out of concern that its references to evolution might offend those with fundamental religious beliefs.
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Wednesday, March 23, 2005
If you’ve been scratching your head in confusion, gnashing your teeth in rage, or pulling out your hair in frustration when you read about all the recent mind-boggling-ly stupid appointments going on in the Bush administration – wonder no longer.
Boston University Team Finds Link Between High Cholesterol And Better Cognitive Performance
What's bad for your ticker may be good for your bean, according to research from a team of scientists at Boston University.
The team looked at 18 years of data from the long-running Framingham Heart Study and found an association between naturally high levels of blood cholesterol and better mental functioning. The results were recently published in the journal Psychosomatic Medicine.
Although the team of specialists at the National Naval Center in Bethesda, Md., declared President George W. Bush "fit for duty" after his annual physical exam on Saturday, they still recommended that he take a daily aspirin and a statin to help prevent heart disease.
Big Pharma happily agrees, and continues to jack up the prices in anticipation of a windfall.
If enough of us healthy adults can be dumbed-down with statins, the Bushies can get away with whatever they want.
Makes perfectly good sense to me; but then, I've been on statins for about two years.
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Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Just another one of those "Up Yours" appointments
If you thought Bolton, Rice, Hughes, and Wolfowitz were the last people in the world qualified for their positions, get a load of this –
Trophy Hunting Advocate Named Acting Director of U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service
Interior Secretary Gale Norton has named Matthew J. Hogan to be acting director of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.
Norton announced the appointment yesterday, following last week's resignation of Director Steve Williams. Hogan was formerly the chief lobbyist for Safari Club International (SCI), an extreme trophy hunting organization that advocates the killing of rare species around the world.
"Having a Safari Club lobbyist in charge, even temporarily, of the federal agency that is supposed to protect endangered species is precisely the wrong course to pursue for any Administration," said Wayne Pacelle, president and CEO of The HSUS. "Someone with a true wildlife conservation ethic, not an allegiance to the trophy hunting industry, should be nominated by President Bush and confirmed by the U.S. Senate for the permanent director position as soon as possible."
It most certainly is "precisely the wrong course", but it's also consistent with all the other bass-ackwards Bush administration appointments, policies, and decisions.
I truly believe these characters have drawn up a list of everything detrimental to the population's life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness and are vigorously legislating, appointing, advocating, or otherwise forcing it down our throats.
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As TalkLeft outlined, U.S. District Judge James Whittemore is hardly a "liberal activist judge".
But he doesn't like being pushed around in the name of religion and doesn't mind slapping a lengthier sentence on those that have tried.
His Schiavo ruling:
"This court concludes that Theresa Schiavo's life and liberty interests were adequately protected by the extensive process provided in the state courts," the judge wrote.
He acknowledged the "gravity of the consequences of denying injunctive relief."
"Even under these difficult and time strained circumstances, however, and not withstanding Congress' expressed interest in the welfare of Theresa Schiavo, this court is constrained to apply the law to the issues before it," the ruling said.
If you have any doubts about the "extensive process", see the University of Miami timeline and most particularly the link to the report (PDF) from Schiavo's third (and latest) guardian ad litem, Dr. Jay Wolfson.
And if you have any doubts about the arrogance and ignorance of the man who would be
I am sure that Dr. Wolfson, who indicated his reliance on ‘good science-based medicine,’ understands the importance of knowing which good scientists and good doctors he relied on to reach certain conclusions.
(snip)
Nothing in Dr. Wolfson’s report leads me to believe the stay should be lifted at this time, or that Mrs. Schiavo should be deprived of her right to live.”
Next time you're due for that yearly colon cancer rectal exam, Jeb, let's just stick a webcam up your rear and let Drs. Frist, Weldon, and Gingrey give you their opinions from the halls of Congress.
(thanks to Bryan for the links)
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Monday, March 21, 2005
The federal court judge, U.S. District Judge James Whittemore, who has had the Schiavo case dumped into his lap is not a stranger to controversial cases and seeing past the religious malarkey.
According to the following account, he doesn't like to be pushed around in the name of God.
From the Tampa Tribune, August 7, 2001 -
Tampa -- Defiant to the end, the ringleaders of one of the largest Ponzi schemes in American history, both in their 60s, received lengthy prison sentences Monday.
Gerald Payne, founder of Greater Ministries International Church, received a 27-year sentence from U.S. District Judge James Whittemore, who called the church's fraudulent investment program ``absolutely despicable.''
Betty Payne, the founder's wife, received a sentence of 12 years and seven months - longer than she faced before she angered the judge by repeating a declaration portraying her and her husband as victims of a zealous government.
Jurors convicted the Paynes and three others on multiple counts of conspiracy, fraud and money laundering. The church claimed international trades and lucrative mining ventures fueled a money-doubling financial program, but prosecutors proved it was a Ponzi scheme that paid established investors with money from recent investors.
Thousands of people nationwide lost huge sums of their money when the system collapsed in 1998. Gerald Payne, 65, is much thinner and walks more feebly since jurors convicted him on 19 counts March 12. He suffered a stroke, his fourth, while in jail awaiting his sentence last month, said attorney Ron Smith.
``This is the last time these two will be sitting together, the last time they'll be able to hold hands or touch each other,'' Smith said of the Paynes.
But Whittemore said Gerald Payne is a danger to the community who would commit more fraud and take more money if free. He blistered the defendant for using ``the word of God to perpetuate a fraud.''
Betty Payne, 61, is in good health and appeared headed for judicial leniency until her words prompted the judge to add 16 months behind bars.
Whittemore had just reduced her sentencing guideline based upon his finding that her role was minor compared to the other defendants. Then she read a statement, verbatim to what her husband read minutes earlier, claiming their constitutional rights were violated and their actions, all guided by the Holy Spirit, broke no laws.
The Paynes and their fellow defendants argued that a church program enjoyed First Amendment protections. Many of the program's followers harbor antigovernment beliefs and blame its collapse on government conspiracies.
``We are innocent of all charges,'' both Paynes said. The only difference in their statements came at the end. ``Glory be to God,'' she said. Smith later said he had tried to dissuade the Paynes from making such statements. ``They both feel that God will intercede,'' he said. ``And I told them both not to count on it.''
Attorney Anne Borghetti tried to minimize the harm, telling the judge that Betty Payne was under the control of other people: ``That's not her statement that she just read. She was given that by other people.'' ``That was my statement,'' her client insisted. Whittemore appeared surprised by the resistance.
``It's one thing to have blind faith,'' he told Betty Payne. ``It's quite another to cast yourself as a martyr for no apparent good. I just deliberated a matter that you could serve 33 months less. What you've just done is throw that right back in my face.''
Her sentence was 16 months longer than the sentencing guideline minimum. As much as $500 million flowed through the Tampa church during the 1990s, making it one of the largest Ponzi schemes investigated by the Internal Revenue Service. The church told investors it could double their money in 17 months or less based on biblical verse.
The Bible also contains passages pertaining to people who abuse God's words, Whittemore told Gerald Payne. ``You're going to have time to study those passages.''
(emphases mine)
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I finally, FINALLY, have my washing machine back – the plumber just finished replacing some pipes and now I don’t have to schlep the laundry back and forth from my mother’s house. I'm happy as a hillbilly who just discovered indoor plumbing.
As I was writing the check and thinking I should have made plumbing my life's work, I jokingly said “I'm glad my ferocious Chihuahuas didn’t scare you away”.
He laughed – it’s hard to imagine anyone being scared of these three little bozos – and said the fatal words:
”The dogs didn’t scare me.
But the big black snake under the house sure did.”
Compared to snakes, mice are my dearest friends in the world.
I know exactly one kid who loves reptiles and would come take this critter away to a good home – but the kid is in college far, far away studying to become some sort of high-falutin’ snake-handler. Herpetologist. Whatever; just do it out of my sight.
After paying this plumber, there’s nothing left in the Collective Sigh kitty, but I will willingly sell my soul for a snake assassin.
Being a devout Googler, I did a search on "get rid of snakes". The best option seems to be getting someone to come and fetch the creepy bugger. Things like this are no comfort whatsoever:
The black snakes are there to catch rodents. Remove the mice and rats and the snakes will leave. In the meantime, I would suggest you go through every room and make sure all holes are patched so the varmints (rats, mice, snakes) cannot get into your living quarters. Pay special attention to drain and water pipe holes. When there is no food for the snakes, they will leave of their own accord.
We must have a mouse and rat refuge on our property, though I've never seen one, because this snake has been around for awhile.
If it's the same one...and I'm willing to bet on it....I watched him slither down a hole last summer and put a cinder block over the hole.
Either he's managed to move that cinder block (it's still covering the hole), magically transported himself, or he's tunnelled into the crawl space under my house.
I will NOT have a snake with magical powers or great strength under my house.
Will no one rid me of this troublesome reptile?
I plan to devote the rest of the day - and the rest of my life, if need be, to making "sure all holes are patched so the varmints (rats, mice, snakes) cannot get into your living quarters".
Next time I get to the store, I'll buy up every bit of rat/mouse poison available, and throw it under the house.
With any luck, the snake will eat enough poisoned mice to do himself in.
But I'm still open to any offers of snake assassination.
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Sunday, March 20, 2005
**Three cheers for the University of Vermont Catamounts for giving their retiring coach, Tom Brennan, the retirement gift of a lifetime.
**Who is this man, and what did he do to the Wake Forest Demon Deacons? There's a basketball team being held hostage somewhere; we must get Congress on this immediately.
**What is it with all the tattoos? Every time I see a man (or woman, for that matter) plastered with tattoos, my first thought is - "he/she needs a bath". It looks like a splotch of dirt, or maybe an unfortunate birthmark or wound.
I know I'm an old fogey, but tattoos always said to me - "jailbait".
**Dyed-to-match shoes are a fashion faux pas, whether you're a lady putting together a wardrobe or a basketball player. I'm looking at you, Illinois. There's something distinctly AFLAC-ducky about those orange shoes.
**As I've said in comments elsewhere, I realize my being a University of North Carolina Tarheel fan is a character flaw. But you've got to admit - any college that gave Jesse Helms a chronic case of heartburn for so many years has got a lot going for it. I merely carry out my liberal duty.
With every slam dunk, with every three-point shot, I imagine old Jesse exploding in a blur of wingnuttery spittle and invective.
Does my heart good.
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